The purpose of any relationship is to learn to create something bigger than what we can create alone.
1. Being in Love vs. Love
Enjoy being in Love but don’t confuse it with eternal Love…
Being in love is an unwilling response originated in a perfect design of nature that harness our five senses as a medium to unite two people, in order to identify the genetic matching and preserve the species.
Love is a voluntary result that transcends the idea of a couple and it is generated from understanding and self-leadership. Love is expansive, it nurtures and builds. Being in love is temporary.
2. Mental compatibility
A happy couple is built, learns and is willing to stay as a “couple” as a result of mental compatibility or matching thoughts. Mental compatibility harnessed in a positive way can help reduce tensions with humor. It can help create, innovate, build and handle different viewpoints in a smooth manner while being willing to learn and to yield.
Without differences, we cannot check the potential of Love that lies within us.
3. Willingness to agree on differences
The success of a happy couple is derived from the willingness to respect and to reconcile differences vs. wanting to impose what each brings from their package of beliefs and their past.
Everyone is responsible for the management of their own beliefs, feelings, and emotions generated within… they support each other to learn how to lead themselves in the right way.
4. I am happy, you are happy and we both share our happiness.
No one is responsible for another person’s happiness. When we learn to take control of our own happiness and the efficient management of our own well-being, we are willing to share the best of our self. We truly support each other and stop putting charges that the couple cannot manage.
Happy couples have trained themselves to stop assuming and start asking, to recognize and empower themselves instead of waiting for the other to take on that role.
Those who haven’t learned, criticize, judge, manifest negative body expressions towards the other, act defensively, attack, and close themselves to dialogue, use the children, work and any other external agent as distractions that ends up consuming the couple’s energy.
5. Right vs. wrong
When differences arise, the ego tends to cloud our panorama with judgment and criticism towards everything that does not bring comfort.
There are always successes… and when given the same energetic intensity that ego gives to mistakes, it’s easier to be objective to reconcile or establish boundaries without reacting.
There are always mistakes as a result of not knowing the right formula. Learning to observe mistakes with maturity and objectivity makes them a learning and growth opportunity for each one as well as for the couple.
Nobody forces anybody to be in a relationship or to live under the conditions of another. We all have a free will.
Commitment measures in a permanent way mutual respect and willingness to grow, learn, build and give the best of our self, so the ego cannot interfere in a shared well-being.
Service, value, admiration, support, respect, acceptance, affection, all of these values build and multiply LOVE… in engaged partners, each of them takes on the responsibility of their part.
A happy couple or whoever is committed to learning how to build it seeks information and support when they do not know how to get through challenges…
7. Friendly and healthy communication
Fear and preventions tend to manifest exactly what the ego fears the most.
Communication is an art we learn and starts with a clear, honest and transparent relationship with ourselves.
Criticism, judgment, stories made up by ego, aggression, imposition, attachment, all break trust, enthusiasm and desire in any relationship.
Happy couples talk more, share affinities, exchange affection, acknowledge their achievements, remember and relive invigorating moments that energize them. Happy couples open space for intimacy and spend quality time.
8. Positive turns
Studies have shown that every time couples are able to make a positive turn in their relationship, they have a 94% chance to experience a happier future together.